Attention || Chris Wilson

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

4th October 2003
1700 hours

To every reprimand Captain Wilson accosted her with, Lieutenant Gilyov responded as a soldier, without emotion. To anyone able to read her, though, the weight of a day under Wilson's boots was certainly dragging her down. It wasn't something she was totally unaccustomed to. Quite the opposite, actually. It usually wasn't quite so... severe, and it certainly wasn't what she'd expected. The change she'd been promised was a lie, which was fairly hard to swallow with what the lie had accompanied in humiliation... but she'd at least thought that even a promise he'd never meant to keep would last longer than two days. It earned her nothing, though, not that she'd meant it to... that she'd meant it to be, at all.

Captain Wilson had put her running an element, and barely a moment had passed without him gnawing at her, getting in her face and, more noticeably, in her ear, like a drill sergeant in Basic. Fox had shut down. Fox always shut down. She shut him out, gave him Yes, captain., and tried to salvage the scenario as best she could. In truth, he'd given her the worst end of it. It was very difficult, and rather than acknowledge it, Captain Wilson made it a testament to Fox's unworthiness in the black. At 1700 hours, Captain Wilson dismissed them, although making a point to add "Though apparently Lieutenant Gilyov considered herself relieved when we started at 1300 hours," seething and close to her back when he said it. When Lieutenant Gilyov prepared herself, wordlessly and mirthlessly, to recuperate elsewhere, she mentally cringed to a call of "I need to have a word with you about your performance, Lieutenant Gilyov."

"Yes, captain."

She'd given him a compliant response, and walked outside to wait on Striker as he saw the rest of them removed from the simulators.

- - -

Vik stood in front of the screen white-faced, looking into the angry visage of one Lieutenant Luther Trenton, call sign Atlas.

"Six years, Vik, and this is the way you do it? Gods... My family was waiting to meet you... You have my grandmother's engagement ring for frak's sakes, Tori!"

"I'll get it to you as quickly as I can, Luther."

"Get it to me... I didn't pass you a note in class, Vik: check yes or no, will you marry me. We had three frakking years on the Achilles together and you wouldn't let me touch you, and since you were transferred in '99... Three years together, three years official, and you want to end it over a frakkin' call? What, find someone with a longer one than I got? That it, Vik?"

"Lieutenant Trenton, you're being very rude, and you're about to find yourself talking to a black screen." The venom she put into it stopped Atlas in his tracks.

”I'm sorry, Vik.. I hope you find happiness. I do. I just -” The initial anger was gone. It was the easier thing for him to feel... and the easier thing for Fox to see. This expression was that moment when an audible snap should have come from Atlas's chest.

”I love you, Tori.”

”I love you too, Luther..” Fox cast her eyes downward for a moment, then looked back at the screen. ”Take care, Atlas.”

”Take care, Vik.”

They never told each other goodbye. They never had, and they never would. Vik found herself staring at the black screen long after Atlas had disconnected, not crying but feeling like an avalanche had covered her heart.

- - -

Captain Wilson was the last person Viktoriya wanted to see right now. For whatever reason, though, he was going to berate her when he was able. He had told her when he'd thrown her in the simulator with a plummeting Snakebite that he enjoyed her suffering. If he could have read her mind, gods, it would have been more than his sadistic little heart could handle. Not for the first time, she felt like she'd burst into tears, but she didn't... and she wouldn't. She could feel like it all she wanted, but she wouldn't do it. She wouldn't be weak in front of Striker. He'd certainly lived up to his name these past few years, and a little too much of whatever he'd put in her glass wasn't going to solve it. She hadn't expected to be special or even hold much of a place with Striker, but she'd believed him when he said that he'd give her peace... and he'd lied. That was why she felt numb to him. Coupled with the expression of heartache in Atlas's face before they'd signed off, it was one Hades of a drain.

She just wanted the day to be over, so the next day could be over, then the next. The sooner they were over, the sooner she could get to the end of more, and just sleep. It's really all she was looking forward to at this stage.

[Chris Wilson]

It wasn't long after they had finished the briefing and were out in the black when Chris had begun to dog Vik. It wasn't much at first just a little teasing really and through out the day it had grown more and more till he was treating her no different then he had before they had talked.

When the squad had gotten to the sims he had gotten even worse. He had set her up with the hardest position of the whole squad and acted like it was something simple. Like it was a task even a nugget should be able to pull off. Truth be told even he would not have been able to pull it off with out issue. No, she was doomed to fail in this simulation with out question.

It had been little difference then before when he had given her Hades in the Snakebite sim. There was one subtle difference though, his intentions were not to torture her but to get a chance to talk to her... alone. "I need to have a word with you about your performance, Lieutenant Gilyov." As soon as she replied he began to lead her down the hall barking at her the whole way.

"Fox, I thought we had gotten past this. I thought we were making improvements." Each word his pace quickened as they walked. Chris was not going to stop his all out assault on her till they had arrived. He was keeping her distracted from where they were going. She stayed silent the whole time, allowing his every word to be heard by her and everyone passing them.

"Now this. Frak it's like you just gave up on trying. Stop with the crap get back to doing your job like you want to keep that rank." He continued to give her Hades every step of the way till they stepped in to the vipers den. As soon as the door closed behind her, he pushed his hand against the door beside her head and leaned in and kissed her. He pushed forward pressing more. They had fought before and it had lead to this and he had attempted to recreated the situation, take a second shot at it all. It had been the same before why wouldn't it work this time.

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

In one ear and out the other, that was Lieutenant Gilyov's general stance on all things Chris Wilson-related. She heard it in a numbed mental state, where it didn't really sink in but she could dig in and recite what he'd told her last like a cassette tape was winding in her mind and replaying him, word for word. That was her fail safe when he'd stopped from time to time in the past to check that he was getting under her skin – an ability she really hadn't even realized that she'd had until Chris Wilson. Hades, maybe it was an evolution specifically to adapt to Wilson. Maybe her DNA was altered and her lineage would now and for generations to come be able to withstand nagging the likes of which should have been used in warfare on a regular basis, not just bedroom nagging between couples, no, not a clucking hen, this was nuclear-level mouth fallout, and Viktoriya took it all in stride because she simply wouldn't process it until she had to repeat it.

Just like she didn't process the words, she didn't process the walk, either. She matched pace with her captain and kept her peace, feeling as though she was as flimsy as a coat on a hanger just floating down the hall with him – physically present but totally absent. Being taken aside into a room was nothing new with Striker. She'd had literally seconds to process the makeshift bar in the background, not even to register it, when the door was closed and Captain Striker was pushing up against her body, kissing and groping. She was slammed from her drifting state back into the corporeal form that Striker had his hands all over, complete with burning hot face. She pulled away from his lips (and his tongue, the bastard was nothing if not quick), and raised one hand to her mouth as if about to wipe off the Striker residue, or feeling for blood like he'd just struck her.

”The frak?”

It was all she could manage, looking at him with wide eyes – totally shocked and, by the red flush to her face, totally humiliated as well. His change of gears was mind-boggling. How could he go from that... to... that? Did his junk just stay in a sort of stasis mode waiting for a cue or something? How do you act as that much of an emotional drain and then just... Gods.

Just.... Gods.

[Chris Wilson]

Striker pulled back only inches at first, this was not at all what he had expected, what he had planned. He had expected this to go a totally different path then it had. For just a moment as she wiped her face and spoke her few words he just stood there bewildered as it there was no possible way things could have gone this directing. It wasn't like it was the first time he had not managed to get what he was after, but he had thought this one was a sure bet.

Striker stepped back a few steps and tried to muster the words he was looking for. His mind was an empty void that had been focused on something far different then explaining himself. "I.. uhm..." He took a breath and looked the place over. "I'm sorry Fox." The great Captain Chris 'Striker' Wilson was left speechless for likely the first time in his life.

Chris walked over to the bar and sat down. "I thought you knew what was going on. I mean look where we are. I shouldn't.." He paused again reaching over and grabbing a bottle and pouring it in to one of the cups that was sitting on the counter. Right now was one of those times he could use a drink or twelve. Enough to forget how much of a fool he felt like at that exact moment. "I frakked up. I'm sorry." He didn't know what to say, Chris Wilson not knowing what to say, hard to believe as it was, it had happened.

He hung his head for a moment expecting her to lay in to him for this one, and rightfully so really. He had given her hades all day expecting a repeat of the other night. He had drug her down here after they were all done expecting a repeat of the other night. That was far from the case, he had made an ass of himself and humiliated her in doing so. It wasn't like he hadn't humiliated her before but this was officially the first time he had done it by accident. "Well frak." It was all he could say as he sat there holding on to the drink he had poured. He reached over and grabbed a second glass in case she would want one though he expected her to walk out of the room right then and go straight to Roger to file a complaint against him. Something he surely deserved at this point.

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

Striker and alcohol. No way in frak that could go wrong, ever. Even still, she joined him at the bar and took a shot. Normally, she could argue with her captain. Normally she could call him things from a side of her vernacular she would have never shown her grandmother even existed. This wasn't in her playbook. She just kind of joined Striker in the let's just not talk about it moment. It could very well have been a play to get her to drink and lay her on the bar. She'd liked to have said something snarky like there's not enough alcohol in the universe. But, there was. It didn't even take a whole lot of it.

”So... how about those elements.”

She just looked at her empty glass, then slid it over to him. Then... she laughed. And she laughed hard. She folded her arms on the counter and buried her face in them, and laughed until she felt tears in her eyes and the actual sound of laughter had become silent shaking mixed in with gasps and a faint, dog-whistle sound of vacated lungs still trying to process more air into laughing. She couldn't help herself. Chris was such an asshole, more of a gaping asshole than a male prostitute at some gathering of gay men who were okay with prostitution (she'd have to perfect that later), but.... she felt sorry for him.

Not enough to frak him, but putting himself out there like that? That had to have been about as painful as he'd made her day. So, they were both having a rather shitty time. Except his was actually more embarrassing, so he took the spirit stick on this one.

”Gods, Striker... You... suck at foreplay.”

What else could she do but laugh, leaning up to press her hand against her mouth and just... look at him. There was zero sexual interest at this point, but it had kind of... made her day a little brighter. Using the same man who'd made it a shit day to start with, but she'd relax on him. He had, after all, more than paid himself back for it.

[Chris Wilson]

Striker was relieved when she cam and sat next to him and laughed. He sat there hanging his head for a moment as she laughed to herself enjoying the moment. He wasn't going to stop her, not this time. No, he had brought it on himself by his actions and he deserved the humiliation this time. "Yeah well..."

He looked up and began to laugh as well. It was quiet the situation he had created. "Can't be good at everything I guess." It was the best he could do for a snarky come back, not that he was really trying. He was still reeling from the situation. It made him wonder what the Hades he was thinking. He should not have expected a repeat performance. Neither one of them had planned the first time or would have even thought about it had they been sober. Three years of fighting with each other was not resolved by one good night of sex.

Chris stopped himself from laughing and went back to a stone cold face as he mustered the ability to speak again. Fox was a good pilot, one of his best, one of the fleets best and he didn't want to lose that. "Look Vik, I have no idea what I was thinking. I guess I just forgot to stop and think for a minute. I really am sorry about all this."

He was not just referring to his failed attempt to bed her again but the way he had acted all day. If she caught on to that or not was anyone's guess. He had given his word that he would not treat her like that and it had only taken him a few days and his personal fantasies to destroy that. Chris took his shot and poured them another one, this time only filling hers half way. He had done enough damage and didn't want to seem like he was trying to repeat the other night still. "Won't happen again. For what it's worth you have my word."

Chris really did want to make forward progress with her as part of their little family. She had joined in the Rook's prank, though she likely really didn't want to. They had actually managed to sit down and talk with each other about things and now here he was taking a step back.

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

It made sense. From the moment he'll pulled back, the total shock in his face, it had all made sense. For three years, he'd gotten her alone time and time again using just such a method. He'd surely expected her to catch on that he wanted to be alone again. And she'd been quite the actress, giving off that same distasteful I really don't want to be here facade that she'd always had. At least, that's how it had worked in his mind. Had she known it was a ploy to be alone... What? She really didn't have a response for that in her playbook, either. At least she wouldn't have felt very genuinely battered... again. In some weird way, that was something she could forgive him for... that he hadn't been trying to break his word. He'd just wanted some nookie.

When he gave his word that time, she did believe him. As stupid as it was, for the second time, she held out hope for him. Her half glass, which she downed quickly, but didn't give to him again to replenish, was proof enough that he was trying to make another honest start.

”I know what you were thinking.” She couldn't help her smirk now. ” 'Oh, Fox, you make me feel like a little schoolgirl again!' “ And she laughed again, covering her mouth and blushing from the fake moan. Fox really didn't know how to handle this. She had a sense of humor, not that she let most see – not since the Achilles. The Heel squadron had known her as a much different person... a person more like Griffin, carefree in the Crew's Quarters, but very much serious about her job. She'd been a friend, and a professional. And she knew she hadn't been much on the friend half of it. But, she'd try. She'd given her word to that.

It was funny to her that they never once seemed to think she got tired of it. No person was that shallow, only and solely a living portrayal of their handbook that didn't care for human interaction. She'd come aboard the Hyperion totally burned out after Snakebite's death, but rather than getting her time to grieve, she'd had to swallow it and try to do her job. Captain Halls hadn't known that sending her away took from her the only closure she could have gotten. She understood that, on some level, he thought it best for her, for her squadron... and maybe it had been. Just, not quite when he'd done it. That wasn't a choice she had part in, though. She hadn't known what she'd needed... but alienation aboard a Battlestar wasn't it. Add Chris's very wrong idea of helpful to it... and it took a sordid secret like having sex with Chris Wilson to give her some true, human conversation. He'd brought it to a head. He'd meant to. Not that he'd meant to play on her delirium, just...

It was a new frontier for them both, and she didn't know what to do with it. She needed a balance between the family member he wanted and the professional she wanted to be. She didn't feel like either of them.. and even though she'd gone through the motions of being a pilot, she hadn't felt like that either. She felt... like she needed to go back to the drawing board, figure out what she was again, and go after it with the same conviction she'd once had.

”I broke it off with Atlas yesterday.” It was a sudden admission that she hadn't told anyone yet. Cronus didn't even know, but the moment he got to talk to Atlas again, she'd be in for... one Hades of an unpleasant conversation. She hoped Chris would understand the magnitude of it, for her. It was her last connection to an old life, like a cherished box she'd open, a face on a screen that she could go to and remember.... part of the reason Cronus had become her closest friend. He still was, all things (like penetration) considered... and that would be ending soon. She'd just shot her last walls down, and without meaning to... because of Striker. She didn't know if she loved him or hated him for it.

She just had to regroup... and she wasn't even sure how anymore.

[Chris Wilson]

Chris rolled his eyes at her comment about the school girl. At least she was having a sense of humor "Yeah, schoolgirl that's it." He had no idea what to say to it really but it had to be smart ass. "I would look damn good in a cheerleader out fit, yeah wrap your mind around that." He slide his glass down the counter, he was done for the night and didn't need to repeat his hang over from before. Honestly she was taking the situation far better then he would have expected with how it had started out.

His comment was followed by a brief pause from both of them. Chris looked around the room not sure were to go from there. Chris mind drifted from the current situation as he looked the bar over. He could see an image of the bar he wanted back on Scorpia when he finally did decides to retire. His daydreaming was interrupted by Vik speaking again. At first id didn't register with him. "How's he handling i..."

He stopped himself as it sank in and really hit him. What did she mean she called it off? Why? "But.. haven't you two been.." Had thing not gone the way they just had he would be worried she was feeling something for him. Seeing as she had rejected him just a moment before saying that his worry was lessened. "I'm sorry to heard that. How are you handling it."

Chris leaned back and kicked his feet up on the counter as he waited for her reply. He didn't want to seem like he was worried about it at all, any of it. The break up, the potential for emotional attachment. Not about the rejection either. Chris stayed straight faced the topic they were diving in to was not going to be an easy one for Vik to talk about. Likely not one Chris will be good with, what was he going to do give advice on relationships. 'yeah uh don't get him killed.'

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

It wasn't something she'd expected Striker to react to, it was more of an... explanation of sorts. She could handle Striker, to a point, but her point had been exceeded before he'd even begun. It was interesting to see him try, though, floundering around with words while his mental processes undoubtedly said: What would a person who gave a frak say now? It was like watching a robot trying to digest... or something. His concern would be that she was looking to replace Atlas with him. That, like what he'd just wanted to do with her... was the last thing on her mind.

”About as well as you'd think, yeah. I just figured, since we were going to start dating, there's no point in stringing Atlas along.”

She gave a few moments to gage Chris's expression, just for sheer pleasure, before she added: ”I'm kidding. I'm not attached.”

She was just going to tell him before he made it an awkward anti-birds-and-bees conversation. She didn't know why she was telling Striker at all. Why he deserved an explanation of... anything Fox-related. Well, Vik-related. Not Fox. Fox was who she was under the canopy... Vik was the girl holing herself up in simulators so she didn't have to face her own squadron. One of the two names still very much had a purpose... and it wasn't Vik.

”Judging by your ideas for showing a girl a good time, I feel kind of bad for taking your virginity.”

She didn't want to stick to the topic of her personal life anymore than Striker did. She dropped her eyes for a moment, then looked at him seriously. ”You know you told me it was a one time thing..” Even if he hadn't, kissing and groping her immediately after everything else would have caught her off guard. The fact that she'd thought they had an understanding about what it was and wasn't had sealed the surprise. Apparently there was a disconnect somewhere. And, as Striker had thought it was a topic worthy of discussion before he let her leave the last time... so did she.

[Chris Wilson]

Just as Ty's heart had likely stopped for a moment when Hoffman had told him that he was losing Viper Two-Six, Gods rest her soul, Chris in this moment had felt his heart stop as well. Yeah, she had just given him a heart attack in a few words. Chris' body went ridged for a moment tipping him back in his chair nearly to the point of toppling him and his chair over to the ground. Chris opened his mouth to speak but nothing but a light airy grunt came out. He couldn't say a would. He would have just excused himself to the 'latrine' but they were on a gods forsaken ship and she would be able to track him down. Frak!

And then with a thump thump his heart pounded again as she told him it was a joke. It was the longest.. well it seemed like an hour but was most likely no more then fifteen seconds. "Gods, don't joke like that, you could have killed me." Chris replied half joking half serious. There were line that one should not cross and that was one of them. That was like a threat on someone life, it was just down right rude, deserved, but rude.

Chris busted in to laughter about the virginity thing. Breathing in deeply between laughs. "Yeah.. keep telling.. yourself that.. one." Yeah Chris a virgin that is, there wasn't a soul on the ship who would believe that one. "Well foxy we both know I wasn't trying to push this in to any sort of relationship. Won't lie though it was a good time, The morning after not so much, that was a little rough."

Chris stood up from his chair and hopped up on the counter and moved the bottles down to the other side of the counter. he was done drinking for now, for now he would talk with Fox and hash things out again. "By the way I am sorry failed to uphold my end of the bargain. Old habits die hard, especially when you have... other motives I guess." Chris had finally calmed himself from the whole situation and was just talking to her as if she was any other member of the squad. Just a part of the family like everyone else. It was probably best this way, they didn't need to go down that road it could only lead to trouble right?

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

The horror on Chris's face... she could have pulled out a basket of lacerated former baby and he'd have had a bad reaction... Why the frak was she thinking like that? Gods, who even thought like that? Well, that was a little frakked up, even for internal dialogue. Moving on.

When Chris got to his part Won't lie though, it was a good time, Vik rubbed her nails against her uniform and then blow on them in a classic Of course it was, I did it expression, then giggled lightly. He was right, the morning after had been pretty horrible for them both. She'd wished temporary death on everyone else, if was wasn't mistaken. Vik was usually good-natured and well-meaning. She hadn't been that day. She hadn't giving a flying frak how anyone else felt. It was a nice feeling, like being elected Striker for a day... actually, in light of their peace treaty (unfortunately consummated though it had been), she should ease up on even her mental quips of him. Then again... Striker was hardly a mind reader. He was missing a key component (zing).

”If being an ass is a sign of having other motives... You wanna frak the whole squadron, don't you?”

It was... strange. She should have been pissed at him right now... but she was relieved. In some twisted way, she was relieved. The whole incident meant that there was still hope that he wasn't going to fall back in those old habits. It made her feel a lot more hopeful than she should have been, a lot more excited... but maybe it's because she really wanted to cling to any positive feeling she could have right now, and she was prolonging it as long as she could. Why else be friendly to the one man she'd wanted to get away from all day? It was that or Stockholms... which was possibly a legitimate argument.

[Chris Wilson]

Chris smiled at her comment yeah he had excelled at the ass part of life, and everyone in the squad got their moments of it but everyone had learned, except Vik, that he didn't do it for no reason. The reason for it with Vik was different and far more frequent then with anyone else. "It is a dysfunctional family but I am not sure we are to that point."

Chris wasn't sure what to day or do really he had done enough to make a fool of himself at this point. It was time to keep his trap shut for once and allow himself the chance to walk away with a bit of dignity still in tact. Chris was surprised at how little she was actually trying to go after him right now. She had plenty of grounds to have one hades of a fit right now but yet here she was just sitting there with out any major issue.

"Why haven't you stormed out of here yet? Figured you would have had enough by now. Or is it that you are just enjoying watching me make a fool of myself." He quipped as he looked over at her. That was about the only reason he could think of as to why she would still be there right now. It was interesting to think that after all these years of them not getting along one little thing like the other night would be what changed things to make it so they could actually sit in the same room and talk, actually able to stand each other for the first time in nearly her entire time on the ship.

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

”It's a lot better than watching you try to make a fool of me.”

That wasn't entirely untrue, but Vik had far too much empathy to enjoy Striker's suffering on any level. She was more likely to pat him on the back and try to be reassuring than anything else. Walking out on him felt like it would have made things worse and put a very cold face on something that had only recently started to melt. Viktoriya was trying. She hadn't been ready to try when she'd come aboard, and he'd thrown her in the pit of someone who would never care to. This was the only other opportunity she'd been given... and she didn't know what she was doing. She would call it trying. She'd gone along with her first prank, and however else she felt about it, she'd taken some part with them.

It wasn't fixed. She wasn't magically taken into the fold. But... she could remember a saying she'd heard once in her life. When popsicle sales are up, do more children drown at the pool? It had been an odd thing to think about. When popsicle sales were up, it was hot outside. When the weather was hot, more children would be at the pool. If there were more children at the pool, the likelihood of drownings occurring was naturally increased. It was a very morbid way of saying that simply being in a place made it more likely that something was going to happen, so rather than being in her bunk or in a simulator, she'd been with her squadron. Nothing had happened, that magical family button hadn't been pushed, she hadn't jumped through a last hoop, but she'd put herself in a place that it could happen... and the more she put herself in that place, the more she increased the likelihood that something would happen, that she'd grow into their family.

”I didn't want you to be in here alone feeling bad.”

She said it quietly. Kindly. She gave him an uncertain shrug and a light smile, then dropped it completely and just looked at the bar. Why was she here? What would it prove? Maybe it was a sign of weakness. In truth, she'd never seen Striker... humbled, as it were. She could harden her heart to a man yelling about her worthlessness inches from her ear, but to someone who looked defeated? No, she didn't have that in her. Usually when Striker said something to her, it was something unkind, something that exemplified the fact that he had no respect for her as a person, a human being. In the simulation when he'd first put her above the Aerilon ocean with a crashing Viper of the same model that haunted her mind, he'd shown no respect for her as a pilot. She should have hated him right now. She had hated him, when he'd done it. That was the first time he'd broken through that barrier. If he hadn't caught her in her moment of weakness and mourning, and turned it around in one very, very incredible display of kindness... she'd have eventually requested to transfer. There would have been no way she'd have wanted to continue to do her job under Captain Chris Wilson. Before that sim, she'd have thought there was no way Wilson could ever get near her good graces. Now, he was there. She felt bad for him, and guilty in a very nonspecific way – not that she'd tried to lead him on or that she owed him something... for not being Tatiana. For not being the woman who could have a meaningless fling.

”I should tell you. I told Tati about it. She wouldn't say anything, though.”

In one night, he'd redeemed himself with her, and he'd also compromised her personal sense of integrity in a very real way. Striker aside, alcohol aside, the whole frakking rest of it aside, she'd never betrayed anyone. In truth, it was hard not to let something fade when you were barely in contact with a person, but he'd been two things for her... the answer to why she wasn't interested in anything when anyone asked, and a living connection to the past. She'd have stayed in that stasis until their service was over and they'd married and gone to Tauron together... although the distant future of babies and rocking chairs had sort of closed in Vik's head some time ago. Still, she'd never have betrayed him under normal circumstances. With that done, the only other recourse she had to being the person she usually was – the honest one with a sense of decency... Was tell him or leave him. She wouldn't have spent a moment of a lie by Atlas's side, or at a distance. If they'd be together, he'd accept her in her entirety or none of her. She'd taken that choice from him. It would have hurt like a blade to the heart for him to have agreed to work it out, and wonder just how close she was to her captain, whether she'd repeat the same offense, and to know that he was no longer the last person she'd been intimately close to. Either way, whether Atlas knew or didn't, Viktoriya had condemned herself to feeling guilty about it. There was no reason to drag Atlas's emotions through the mud with her own pride and sense of self-awareness.

In the Freudian concept of the mind, the ID was the basic desire inside that just wanted pleasure, not indifference or displeasure. If a cool pillow felt good, ID wanted to feel that. If sugar tasted good, ID wanted to taste that. Anything that wasn't clearly enjoyable, it wanted no part of. The ego was the moral boundaries of that, the set of rules that dictated that, while sugar may taste good, stealing sugar wasn't the way to achieve that enjoyment. Likewise, spending a lifetime wallowing in cool-feeling sugar wasn't a worthwhile way to live. So, if the ego was why one didn't spend a lifetime rolling around in a pile of nice, cool-feeling sugar... the superego was the aspect of the mind that made one feel guilty and selfish for having any superficial thought of indulgence. In essence, it worked as guilt. Vik's superego was well, well exercised. From the night she'd watched the keel of the other Viper disappear into the sea to the night she'd tried to sleep after Viper had thrown her into that simulator, her superego had been talking to her:

You could have evaded. He would have never felt the need to turn back if you'd done your job. It would have been better if you'd been scuttled in the black. The navy traded a superior pilot for a so-so frak-up of a soldier.

Marriage and family on Tauron? That would be a beautiful life to go back to, wouldn't it? Similar to the one Major Stokes won't be going home to.

It would serve you right if your children with Trenton looked like Jonathan's.

Some wingman you turned out to be. I bet your new lead prays a little harder everytime he gets into the cockpit knowing you have his back.

Major Stokes had a wife waiting on him that will be getting nothing but some condolences and a few momentos of her husband. It would be justice for you if one day that's all you had of Luther.

They're sending you to the Hyperion because you murdered Major Stokes by being incompetent. They really can't hide their disgust of you any longer. They should just put you out an airlock and be done with it.

Vik's superego would be having a field day with the recent development with Striker, and with the situation she now found herself in. At the end of the day, Vik had to live with herself... and some days that could truly be a fate worse than death. The voices in her head sounded so much like the voices that had plagued her childhood, those people who'd seemed to sincerely believed she had such a twisted line that nothing good would ever come of her. More often than not, Vik agreed with them. Jokes aside, sarcasm aside, every wall she'd built around herself down, that was what she believed about herself... that nothing good would come from her. And thus far, she wasn't wrong.

[Chris Wilson]

"Don't worry about me Vik. It's not like I haven't over stepped before."[/color] Chris wasn't going to let it get to him. Hades he was looking for a good time was all it wasn't like he hadn't been down this road before in his life. His whole life had been a mess of mistakes.

Looking back on things he could remember so many mistake he had made throughout his career, even before that. Since the beginning of his career though he had someone he could turn to about it all, Davis. The two of them had been close friends since the beginning of it all. Chris had even made his one and only trip back to Aerilon for Roger wedding. If he ever felt the need to turn to someone it would be the ever logical Davis to help him figure out what he was doing. This though was not of that caliber, it was a simple mistake he had made and wouldn't make again.

When Vik spoke again Chris looked over at her almost puzzled. He was shocked Vik had talked to anyone about it all. "Tatiana?"[/color] it wasn't like she would talk about it or anything. No, the young woman was able to keep her mouth shut on others secrets even though she made no attempts to hide who or what she was for the general public. "And what exactly did she have to say about it all?"[/color]

Chris was genuinely interested in knowing how Tatiana had approached the subject, likely with a congratulations or something to that effect. She was not shy about sexual exploits, far more open the Chris even. Chris smiled at Vik as he waited for her reply.

[Viktoriya Gilyov]

Worrying about Striker. That wasn't something she'd ever really done. She had been anxious about Hades he'd planned for her at times, but as far as being concerned for him – unless something happened in the black, it just wasn't something she did. So that sentence, his Don't worry about me Vik, it was like an alien language. She never really imagined she'd be in a position of considering Striker's emotions. She didn't really consider jackass an emotion.

Broaching the subject was bound to invite that question, but she couldn't exactly have that discussion and not tell Chris. She laughed a little quietly, glancing down at the bar. She wasn't entirely sheepish, but it was an odd conversation to have in light of it.

”She told me... Basically that it will be good for me and I should have some fun. Enjoy – well, you.”

Tatiana had basically suggested that she make it a regular thing between Striker and herself. She wasn't certain what Chris's reaction to that would be... but considering his amorous intentions originally, she imagined he agreed.

It was pretty apparent what sort of mood her captain had been in. She wasn't entirely certain whether or not she should leave and let him find a viable person to satisfy those cravings with. She thought it better to ask, though she wasn't exactly certain what to say – so she made it as casual as she could: ”Do I need to clear out so you can bring someone else down here?”